My Favorite Salad

 

My response to the question, "What can I do?"

I wanted to respond to this question and speak to the idea of strong allyship; particularly to White allyship because its the linchpin.  I am seeing friends and colleagues being excellent examples of that.  I also wanted to speak to the concern of performative protest that can easily be practiced in our digital technology/social media age where action can solely manifest as only a click of a button instead of a click of a button as an INDICATION of the real work intended to be done.  The reality is that the curtain has been pulled back on America.  Racial injustice is alive and well. No one can claim to be unaware anymore.

It has been very encouraging to hear my white friends and colleagues FULLY acknowledge the magnitude of the impact of racism by speaking truth to power and denouncing it and acknowledging the truth of the experiences of Black people in this country.  A lot of SHAME has been expressed; in ignoring what was seen, in being apathetic, in being complicit, in being complacent, in stating phrases such as “I’m color blind” and “not everything is about race”, in preferring comfort over conviction and compassion.  It has also been comforting to see a genuine and DEEP desire to respond and do something to truly change our world because this is what they believe matters as well.

Now, the COMFORT is where we have been and so the DISCOMFORT is where we have to go to change anything.  Because remember, change will ALWAYS be uncomfortable.  That's just facts.  So if you want to change, you have to step into the discomfort. There is no other way.

I liken this to building a HEALTHY relationship.  HEALTHY relationships take work especially when it comes to resolving issues.  Look at a situation when one member of a couple/friendship has hurt the other.  When the person that HAS BEEN hurt makes it known (PROTEST) to the person who has DONE the hurting, the person who has DONE the hurting sits and listens and does not interrupt to say, “Well, you did this/that too, etc”(“Well, they are looting, etc”).   They sit and allow the person who HAS BEEN hurt to be HEARD.  Then they respond.  They respond by acknowledging how the person who HAS BEEN hurt feels and how THEY have CONTRIBUTED to that hurt.  They then state how they will CHANGE their behavior to make sure this hurt does not happen again.  They then CHANGE their behavior and the prior behavior is stopped.  Their WORDS become ACTIONS.  That’s a healthy relationship.

It is now time for America to do the same.  Institutionalized racism is a system.  A system upheld by people and their daily and consistent behaviors, conscious or unconscious, voluntary or involuntary, and supported by beliefs, deeply held or superficial.  And so it is the changing of our beliefs (which is now happening) impacting the changing of our daily conversations and daily actions that will change the system (which needs to happen).

We all have a sphere of influence and in your own sphere of influence, you can do much.  You can normalize equality and equity in your daily actions.   You can normalize anti-racism and compassion for people of color in your daily actions. You can normalize advocating and standing up for people of color in your daily actions.  You can normalize intolerance of racist/prejudice/biased beliefs and behavior in your daily actions.  Normalizing anti-racism, racial equality, racial equity and advocacy for those who are marginalized will change the system and it requires daily actions.  Daily actions - actual conversations, even arguments, with other white people (family, friends, colleagues, strangers, etc) to address racist behavior when it is present.

The truth is most people want things to change so you play a crucial role in taking this system down. 

You.

People often respond with, "I feel so helpless to tackle institutionalized racism. I don’t know where to start."

Now you do.  Be the example.  

It starts with You.

Peace and Love

MGD

*Recommendations to better learn how to do this: 

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X Kendi, is an "essential book for anyone who wants to go beyond an awareness of racism to the next step of contributing to the formation of a truly just and equitable society."

So you want to talk about race by Ijeoma Oluo

Stamped from the beginning by Ibram X Kendi

Why I am no longer talking to white people about race by Reni Eddo-Lodge

Why Fragility by Robin Diangelo